Meet Stephen Brent May
When my brother was a baby, the doctors told my parents he was blind. They took him to Cleveland Clinic for a second opinion, and they got the good news that he was not completely blind, but most likely, only legally blind due to ocular albinism, a rare pigment defect that results in a lack of pigment in the hair, eyes, and skin.
When I was born with matching white hair and skin, they knew the same was true for me.
It’s also important to note that I started talking at 6 months old. :-)
On the floor of a little country church
I was raised in Southern West Virginia in a devout Free Will Baptists family. My grandfather was the pastor, my grandmother led ladies auxiliary, my dad was a deacon, my mom was a Sunday School teacher, and along with 2 of her sisters and brother-in-law, was a part of a traveling Southern Gospel singing group.
We spent every weekend at church, tent revivals, or singing conventions. Music became very important to me at an early age.
When I was only 2, I asked my grandfather if I could sing in church. He asked what I wanted to sing, and I told him just to play the same song he sang that week. The following Saturday night, he handed me a microphone, started playing, and I just started making up my own lyrics.
I loved being in front of a crowd.
When I was 3, my mom bought a piano, and my brother and I started lessons right away.
We had piano lessons on Monday, church on Wednesday, youth group on Thursday, you get the idea...
Because of our vision and faith, my parents decided it would be best if we went to a private, Christian school. The school was small–less than 100 students in K-12.
I excelled at school. I was a straight-A student and always the first to memorize my Bible verses each week. No one in my family had been to college, but we knew from a young age that it was our only option. Education and church were the only things that mattered to my parents and I knew it.
During my time in elementary school, I participated in the school choir and traveled to different churches to perform. Eventually, I was playing piano and singing solo for the school at these churches. One Sunday, I didn’t want to perform and asked my parents if I could have that Sunday off from singing and was told “no”. I begged not to have to do it, but eventually agreed when I was told I could get a new Nintendo game if I did it.
During this time, several of my aunts had gotten divorced and my family moved them from different states to live with us at varying times while my parents helped each of them to go to nursing school.
In 6th grade, my mom had a falling out with the school administration and pulled me, my brother, and my cousins out of the school. This was a huge loss for the school and I was honestly petrified. I had been taught that public school was dangerous and nothing but drugs, drinking, and sex. Up until this point, I had never even been allowed to listen to non-religious music, and now I was being thrown into the lion’s den.
A new beginning and a few surprises
I LOVED public school. I was finally allowed to wear jeans and because of how far ahead private school had gotten me, I didn’t have to take math or English for 2 years.
I got involved with every possible competition or extracurricular activity I could. Academic Challenge, Math Field Day, All-State Choir. I was constantly trying to win at something because I knew the more I did, the better future I would have.
Less than a year later, my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
My mom, who had always been a stay-at-home mom, was now raising a 1-year old and starting to take care of my dad. Before he was sick, and for the next 2 years after being diagnosed, my dad would leave for work at 4 am, come home around 5 pm, and still show up for school functions, etc.
Around 14-15, I was starting to struggle with my identity and my religion. Growing up in an extremely fundamental household, I was taught that being gay was an abomination, but I was also starting to realize I wasn’t able to pray it away as much as I tried. I also knew this was something I could not share with anyone so the burden was all mine.
In high school, I was popular, well-known in the community, and generally happy minus living in constant fear that someone would either find out I was gay before I was able to pray enough to get rid of it.
I continued doing local theatre, playing piano, and writing music and wanted to move to New York to pursue a career in music without having to worry about anyone finding out who I really was. The problem was that 1. Education was far too important to pursue a career in entertainment and 2. My dad was getting sicker so I needed to stay closer to home. No one told me that, but I knew it myself.
My mom agreed that if by the time I graduated from college, I still wanted to move to NYC and pursue music, she would support me in the decision.
With me, as with anyone in our family, my parents were willing to help other people fulfill their dreams and thrive.
We are Marshall…
I went to school at Marshall University, which was about 1.5 hours from home, with the intention of majoring in political science. If I wasn’t going to be a pop star, I was going to be an attorney.
My freshman year was extremely hard for me. I went from being one of the popular kids in high school to being alone 80% of the time. I shared an apartment with one of my best friends, but we never made good roommates. Because I didn’t live in the dorms, I didn’t meet a lot of new people.
I was also hating my political science courses, and I knew if I didn’t enjoy those, I would probably hate law school. I decided sophomore year would be better.
I moved in with a different group of friends and decided to try some advertising classes on a whim. I fell in love with it and decided to change my major. Through this, I started making lifelong friends and discovering what would turn out to be my career.
My dad’s health had been declining but after almost 6 years, he never really got as sick as I imagined someone with cancer would. A month before my 21st birthday, my mom told me I needed to come home if I wanted to see him and say goodbye. I rushed home the next morning.
The weekend passed and he was still talking and told me to go back to school on Monday so I wouldn’t miss any classes. I called on Tuesday to talk to him. During that conversation, he asked how my grades were and reiterated how important it was to not get distracted by anything so that I didn’t let my education not remain the priority.
On Friday, he was gone.
I still laugh at the irony that our last conversation was him making sure I knew how much education meant to him.
The Aftermath
I spent the next week at home with my family but returned to school the following week. I dove in headfirst to the work and also started living pretty recklessly.
I used partying to cope and didn’t care much about the repercussions. I had essentially given up on faith because I had come to accept that being me and being a Christian weren’t things that could coexist.
Somehow, I managed to maintain a strong GPA, get involved in Student Government, place 3rd in the National Student Advertising Competition, and graduate near the top of my class.
After graduating and still not being a famous pop star, I wasn’t sure what to do next. I knew marketing or advertising was my backup plan but I didn’t know where to start.
So, I took a job bartending while I decided what I wanted to do.
A shift begins
Around this same time, I met a guy named Jon-Michael, who would eventually become my husband.
My friend Bryan, who I knew from the bar introduced me to the Director of Sales and Marketing at the boutique hotel he worked for. Stephanie and I hit it off, she hired me as the Marketing Specialist and my marketing career became official.
When I wasn’t working, I spent time volunteering for Carita’s House, an AIDS and homeless services organization.
I loved my job and did well, but I could never let go of the nagging feeling that being legally blind somehow hindered my progress, This was, as I would later realize, all in my head. I would spend hours memorizing spreadsheets before meetings so no one would know I couldn’t see the numbers on the paper. If someone said “cell F32” I already knew what was there without looking.
Stephanie was an amazing mentor and became a close friend. When she accepted a job in Baltimore 2 years later, she called me almost immediately and offered me a position there.
Jon-Michael and I had been together for 3 years and decided we would move to Maryland together.
Not long after we moved, the recession hit and marketing positions in hotels became nonexistent. Stephanie said she could transition me to a sales role and train me so I didn’t lose my job. Shortly after, she laid a $100,000 contract she had been working on my desk and told me to turn it in my name. I told her I didn’t do any of the work and didn’t think I should, but she taught me one of the best lessons in leadership that day. She said that because I was on her team, she would rather give me the credit because if her team looks good, she looks good. This has stuck with me through every job and leadership position I have ever held.
After a year, Stephanie moved to a different company, Jon-Michael hated teaching in inner-city Baltimore, and I didn’t love being in sales.
Several of our friends had moved to Houston and after visiting a few times, we decided to give it a go.
Feels Like Home
We were in Houston. I was doing sales and “marketing” in one of Houston’s trendiest boutique hotels, and while it wasn’t a dream job, it connected me with the American Marketing Association. We hosted their annual retreat and the president encouraged me to come to their happy hour the following day to meet some board members.
Soon after, she invited me to join a committee as a volunteer, which led to Robin Tooms asking me to join the board in 2012.
Around that same time, I landed a job with an internet software company I had been following for 2 years. This position combined my love of digital marketing and technology.
I led the department through organizational changes, by adopting an agile methodology to more closely align us with product development’s needs for marketing. I also helped grow our license count by 19% over a 3-year period. Everything was going great, but I was getting anxious.
Everything comes together for the good
I had held several roles with AMA at this point and knew I wanted to become president.
During Crystal Awards 2014, Bering Support Center received one of the AMA Gives Back grants. They work with people living with AIDS. I asked to meet with them as part of the program and met the director who also happened to be a pastor at Bering UMC.
As an adult, I had started to understand that my relationship with my faith and living in the fullness of who I am were not exclusive. I decided to go back to church.
At Bering, I found ways of being in service to the community with other people of faith.
Because of my affiliation, I was asked to join the board of Open Gate, a homeless services organization that caters to 18-24 young adults, primarily those who identify as LGBT.
While working on the AMA Crystal Awards, I met Hami Arrington, and we spent a lot of time together. We realized we had a similar drive and work ethic. She was looking for her next step and I was looking for mine.
Even though I had developed some idea in my head that taking a risk like this after 35 was not something a reasonable adult would do, I walked away from a 6-figure salary to start One Foot Over.
From day one, we have had the same goals, the same vision, and a shared work ethic, and a desire to succeed and do good while doing it.
I eventually became president of AMA, my business is growing every year, and I feel like I have carved out a place where I fit in the 4th largest city in the country.
I still haven’t fully given up on my dreams of being a famous pop singer yet.
