Meet Al Payton
“You start to build a bond over time.”
You start to see that person go through their challenges. You’re like… I feel like this is something I can help with. With my stepsons, their father has always been in the picture. And so, it was never where I felt I needed to be their dad, I never tried to be their dad, I just tried to let them know I was there for them. They grew up in the house with me, I was always around them, so I got to see them on a daily basis. I really tried to make sure they understood that I was sharing with them, what I could, and what I thought would be beneficial for them, and just let them know, if you ever want to talk about something we could… you know… the biggest thing for me was modeling for them the behaviors that I would like to see them to develop. It was letting them see how I treat other people. Letting them see how I am always trying to educate myself. Helping them with understanding finances. You mentioned finance that is something that I always talked to them about.
Thinking about what are you going to do with your money? Making sure you put things away. My youngest stepson, as soon as he graduated from college, he was driving a car that was totally paid for with nothing wrong with it. He was thinking I am going to get a job and I am going to go out and buy a new sports car. I am like, okay kid, your car is totally paid for, we are paying for your insurance still – if you go out and buy something with your own money then now you are going to have to pay for the insurance. He started thinking about it. He is like I am going to have a car payment and insurance. I don’t want to do that. He is still driving that same car, and that was 3 years ago. So, it was trying to put in their heads those things to help them think about: ‘I don’t need to do this. I am perfectly fine here. I need to work on other things.’ Now he is investing – and I had talked to him about investing. … From a loving standpoint, it was something I knew over time we would build that type of relationship. They would come to understand I would do anything for them. I am not trying to be your father – your father is still here – if you need something, you know you can call me.
